The burden of caring...
It's interesting when you find yourself in a situation more than once in your life where you must put aside your education, understanding, beliefs and passion in order to survive. It is not a good interesting, in fact it is a horrible feeling. One that makes you sick to your stomach because you want to say something, do something. But, you just cannot.
The first time was when I was in the veterinary field and had to deal with breeders and all things breeding. Being one of the only people involved in rescue as well in the hospital, I had to witness and do things that made me cry when I went home at night. This was after I left the hospital at the end of the day and literally scraped frozen kittens off of the sidewalk, or fed starving colonies that others had abandoned when they moved. This was after long days of smiling and keeping quiet so as not to lose my job.
I have now found myself in a situation where all that I positively know and absolutely believe in must stay silent yet again. How do you educate and make a difference when the whole country is unwilling to listen, never mind those you know. Not being able to look someone in their eyes when you hear them being told that their "dangerous dog" must go because of its breed. The fact that it is an emotional support dog does not matter. The fact that it may be a wonderful, happy, sweet dog does not matter. The fact that they are given only a few days to get rid of it when you know that it will be euthanized does not matter. And this is happening hundreds of times each day across the country.
What comes to mind is deep sadness and disgust that our society, our world, is so small minded and complacent in our thoughts and views. We are more than willing to follow the ignorant masses like cattle to the slaughter house. Better that than to the injection rooms and gas chambers like the thousands of dogs and cats each day I guess. There is no thinking for ourselves, no trying to be better and do better as a whole. Why is it left to just a select few to take on the burden of caring and trying to make a difference?
I have now also found myself in an incredibly sad situation where I know that I will not be able to adopt a "dangerous dog" because of our world's numbing ignorance. My heart has been set on saving one that is disabled or old. My heart has been set on this so much that I felt like someone punched me when I realized I could not. It would not matter that it was sweet or sick, only that it looked a certain way. I am heartbroken that I am not in a situation where I can do what I want. So, all I can do is continue to try to do my part in making that difference and hope that some day I will have the chance to do more than survive.
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